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[personal profile] denofiniquity
Title: Eager
Fandom: Being Human US
Pairing: Aidan/Josh, mentioned past Aidan/Bishop
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,092
Summary: It's not a question of if Josh wants to play house. It's a question of if he can actually let himself love Aidan.
Spoilers: This takes place immediately after episode five. If you haven't seen that episode yet, be warned.
Notes: The final part of what I'm jokingly calling the "Sex With Josh Fixes Everything" Universe. Emphasis on the joking. Follows Newtonian, The Word of Your Body, Compelling, and Need.

They make it to the top of the stairs before Josh realizes Aidan is following him into his bedroom instead of going into his own. Josh raises an eyebrow, but Aidan just reaches around him to push the door open and slip past Josh inside.

"Aren't you going to make us talk about this?" Josh asks. He waves a hand expansively to indicate all the many things wrong between them, and then just keeps letting the gesture expand. They have a lot of problems.

"We suck at talking," Aidan points out. "I could tell you where I was going over the last month, or ask you about the random hate crime and what that means, but…" He shrugs. "I've missed this. Missed you. So it's either this or I can ask you about how you really feel about me, but…I don't think I want to hear the answer to that anymore."

"I can answer it if you want me to."

"I don't think I'll be able to go through with this if you do."

Josh joins Aidan on the bed and nudges Aidan with his shoulder until Aidan meets his eyes.

"Ray tried to make me choose. He tried all month."

"Last I saw, you were torn."

"I chose you," Josh says quietly. "You and Sally and our house, but you had a lot to do with it."

"What's that mean?" The for us at the end is unspoken, but also unnecessary.

"I don't know," Josh answers honestly. "I'm still figuring all that out. But…I chose you. That counts for something, right?"

Aidan is silent for a long moment, then he admits, "I promised myself I wouldn't do this again with you until you were sure."


But he gets cut off by Aidan's mouth covering his, by the breath getting knocked out of his lungs as Aidan catches him off guard and pushes him onto his back. It's been so long since they did this that it takes Josh a minute to remember where his hands are supposed to go and just how to bend his knee so that Aidan can settle between his thighs. He curls his fingers around the nape of Aidan's neck, letting his thumb brush over where Aidan's pulse point should be until Aidan groans, arching into the touch.

For all that Josh knows Aidan prefers him, Josh still has some issues with Bishop always being around. He tries to tell himself that it's not jealousy, but it probably is and it's not fair that Bishop is constantly there, fucking with Aidan's head and making Josh feel inadequate. Because Josh knows that even though Aidan would deny it if he asked, Aidan likes to be bitten during sex. Josh figured that out when he was licking and nipping at Aidan's throat and Aidan kept begging harder, harder even though Josh was doing it as hard as he could. As hard as he'll ever be able to, really, and he hates that Bishop could bite Aidan while Josh can't.

He hooks his fingers under the hem of Aidan's shirt to distract himself, stroking over the skin at the small of Aidan's back. He's missed the feel of a hard body against his own, but he's missed this even more. There's a spot at the base of Aidan's spine that makes him shiver in Josh's arms, makes him gasp and writhe and beg. Josh has a similar spot, although his is just behind his right ear. Josh isn't above exploiting it and he trails his fingers over it delicately before slipping them just under the hem of Aidan's jeans and resting them on the curve of Aidan's ass.

"You need to take your shirt off," Josh says quietly, and Aidan obliges by not only taking his off, but Josh's as well.

"Josh," Aidan breathes out, entranced, like the sight of Josh's naked torso is mesmerizing.

Josh rakes his eyes down Aidan's torso in return, stopping when he lands on a scar around Aidan's navel. He doesn't remember ever seeing it before and he strokes his thumb over it before tilting his face up to meet Aidan's eyes.

"You're not the only one who gets into fights in alleys," Aidan tells him, and swallows Josh's reply by kissing him hungrily. Josh arches up against him and curls one of his calves over Aidan's so he can use it for leverage.

"You're eager," Aidan whispers. Josh nods and drags his fingernails down Aidan's back before he catches himself and shakes it off.

Aidan nudges at Josh's jaw with his nose until Josh tilts his head back, knowing fully well what Aidan wants. He sighs and grits his teeth until he feels Aidan's mouth close over his pulse point, promising himself he won't pull away. After a moment, Aidan stops and pulls back enough to face him and whispers, "You think I'm like them, don't you? The degenerates. That's why you're panicking."

"I'm not—"

"I can hear how fast your heart is beating."

"I'm turned on."

"You're a shit liar," Aidan tells him, and then his eyes go dark and his fangs pop out with a snap. "Tell me you trust me," he says, and woah, this went from sexy to scary in about one second flat.


"Tell me you trust me not to tear into you."

"I—I trust you."

"You don't," Aidan counters, and presses his mouth right up against Josh's throat. "Knowing that your blood disgusts me, you're still afraid I'm incapable of controlling myself."

"Aidan, please—"

Aidan pulls back and glares down at him angrily. "I want to give you everything and you can't even give me your trust."

Josh sighs and tilts his head back further, then roughly pulls Aidan back down to his neck.

"I'm not afraid of you, Aidan," he insists. "That's gone. What I did in that alley…it was the pack mentality, and that's gone. I don't have a pack. I'm alone, okay? I chose you."

He feels Aidan's fangs graze his skin, then he hears the snick of them retracting.

"Good," Aidan says, strange and unreadable, and undoes Josh's fly. "You know you've never let me go down on you?"

"I know."

"But you trust me?"

Josh is silent for a long moment, weighing this against the risks, and decides that fuck it, he's going all-in on this thing with Aidan.

"Yes," he answers, and lifts his hips enough for Aidan to get his jeans off. "Just…be careful," he says, and runs his finger over Aidan's lips idly.

"I will," Aidan promises. "I'm not as good as you because…you know, the fangs and being out of practice, but…I'll fuck you really good afterwards if you'd like."

Josh really doesn't know how to answer that. I would, seems formal, and Okay, sounds nervous and terrified. He finally just nods, even though Aidan's not looking at his face, and then he doesn't so much care because Aidan's mouth is sinking over his cock and fuck, as much as Josh loves sucking Aidan off, he'd kind of forgotten how good it felt to be on the receiving end.

Aidan looks up at him and the corners of his mouth twitch, like he's trying not to smile. And that's about when Josh realizes that this thing with Aidan, it's way more serious than he realizes. It's not a question of if Josh wants to play house. It's a question of if he can actually let himself love Aidan because…wow. Yeah. That's there in Aidan's eyes.

But he doesn't even have time to really focus on that because he's too busy gasping and writhing and begging Aidan to finger-fuck him already because they both know that Josh isn't going to come until he does. And Aidan actually fucking laughs around Josh's cock and sets him shaking and gasping for air.

But it gets him what he wants, so it's worth it.

Aidan gets three fingers in him before Josh is begging Aidan to just fuck him already, fuck the fact that he needs more preparation after not doing this for however long Aidan said it had been. He doesn't care because he needs this. They need this.

And he doesn't even bitch about Aidan not using a condom. Which maybe he should, but he thinks they need this without it this time, too.

He doesn't remember them ever doing this face to face before, either, so apparently it's just a night all about things they need now or something, but there he is on his back with his legs curled up around Aidan's waist. It's awkward as hell because Josh really isn't that bendy, even near the full moon, but Aidan has this determined look on his face and somehow it works, Josh digging his fingers into the sheets and trying to keep up with the way Aidan rolls his hips against Josh.

"I love looking at you like this," Aidan tells him, and drags the head of his cock across Josh's prostate for emphasis.


Aidan nods and kisses the closest bit of Josh's skin that he can reach. "You're going to smell like me again, you know. Every supe who gets within a hundred feet of you will know that you're mine. That I'm yours."

"You possessive—fuck, there—"

"I am possessive," Aidan admits easily. "I never said I wasn't. I know what I want. You."

Josh grips Aidan's forearms roughly and does his best to rock up into it, but he doesn't have the leverage. He lets out a soft noise of frustration, and Aidan seems to know why because he murmurs, "I don't want you to ride me this time, Josh. I want to do this for you."


"Just come, Josh. I want you to."

Josh reaches down to curl his palm around his cock, but Aidan bats it away and angles his hips up, pressing right against Josh's prostate.

"No," he says. "Come for me. Because of me. Need me."

It's almost a chant, and there's something so weird in his eye, but Josh knows in his gut that this is important, that this means something to Aidan. Maybe he'll tell Josh later, when he's still too fucked-out to remember that they kind of fail at verbal communication. Sometimes, Josh thinks they should pass each other notes.

Of course, this makes it immediately a hundred times harder to come because he's so close and if he could just touch his cock, he could send himself over the edge easily. But without that, there's nothing but blinding white pressure that builds inside him and refuses to explode. He grits his teeth and digs his fingers into the sheets, twisting and thrashing down on Aidan's cock. Then Aidan grips him tightly and holds him still, his cock pressing right into Josh's prostate. And he just stays there, barely moving save for tiny rocking motions that just sort of pile up until Josh is gasping and groaning and his throat is killing him from being so tense but Jesus fuck, really.

And just when he thinks his body can not possibly stiffen anymore, that he is completely tensed-out and there's nothing left to give, everything shatters and he falls apart in Aidan's hands.

He floats there, half unconscious and so blissed out that if he died just now, he'd be okay with that. Slowly, he comes back around, mostly because he hears a grunting noise over and over again and it occurs to him that the noise is coming from him every time Aidan thrusts into him.


"I need you," Aidan says. Josh desperately admires how calm his voice sounds.


"I need you so fucking much," Aidan tells him, and just about as Josh realizes that what he isn't saying—that he wants Josh to need him and oh, that's probably what the look ma, no hands thing was about—is when Aidan comes inside him, hard and twitching and oh God, Josh will never feel clean again.

And then he just sort of…collapses against Josh, holding onto him tightly.

"You're not allowed to leave me again," Aidan tells him. "Not like that, anyway."

"I'm sorry," Josh says genuinely, and he's not sure he's ever meant an apology more sincerely in his life.

Aidan shrugs. "You'll make it up to me. We never did have sex on the kitchen counter and I told you how much I love counter sex."

"You're on," Josh promises him, and lets Aidan cuddle him for all of five minutes before he runs to the shower. Out of the goodness of his heart.


Date: 2011-02-20 04:28 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-02-20 05:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That last line was gold, because it is true love when he puts off his OCD to cuddle for Aidan. And that was really heart-breaking with Josh having left him and not needing Aidan as much as he needs him, and that he picks him, but that's not enough.

I'm sad to see the end of the series, but I think it's time. Will you keep writing for the fandom though, please? :)

Date: 2011-02-20 01:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I probably will, it was just getting really difficult to tie this series into canon like this. I was constantly worried that the show won't give me anything to work with. So I think it was time to just...end this with a nice little ribbon on it and now I can write whatever I want about them. :)

Thank you!

Date: 2011-02-20 04:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yeah, I like being free to break from canon. I think it's much better than trying to stick with it and painfully trying to explain everything. :/

Date: 2011-02-20 07:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm really sad this series is over, but it was a perfect ending! I really, really loved this series and I really hope you keep writing BH fic! You write both Josh and Aidan so perfectly, with there need for each other, and their issues with themselves. Love!!

Date: 2011-02-20 02:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I probably will keep writing for the show, because these two are really fun, but boy was I worried each week that the show wouldn't give me enough to work with, since that was kind of the point of this series. So yay, now I can just write whatever I want. :-D


Date: 2011-02-20 01:17 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
aww its so bittersweet I love it :) Is there some way I can set an alert so I will know if you write anything else? I am new to lj

Date: 2011-02-20 02:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you.

If you have an LJ account, you can go to my profile and click "add friend" and then any new posts I make on this journal will show up on your flist. Alternatively, you can go to my profile and click track user. Then you can choose to be alerted (usually via e-mail address) whenever I make a post to this journal, OR you can choose to only be alerted when I make a post on a specific tag. For instance, if you want to see all Being Human fic I write, but not any other fandom, you can choose to track the fandom: Being Human US tag instead of my entire journal. Or, if you only want to see the Josh/Aidan fic (as opposed to say, if I were to write Aidan/Bishop or another pairing), you can choose to track only the pairing: Aidan/Josh tag.

Hope that helps!

Date: 2011-02-20 09:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Sad to see the ‘verse end, but very, very happy with this fic! :D

In particular, I love that Aidan’s pulse point is an erogenous place for him. I also really love that Bishop is there in Josh’s mind concerning that biting!kink Aidan has. All of that makes total sense to me—-Bishop’s presence(ghost?), the kink itself (and Aidan’s denial of it), Josh’s insecurity over both. (I ship destructive!Aidan/Bishop pretty hard-core. I'm slowly coming over to the Aidan/Josh side of things, though.)

Also? This: “No,” he says. “Come for me. Because of me. Need me.” It’s almost a chant, and there’s something so weird in his eye, but Josh knows in his gut that this is important, that this means something to Aidan. Maybe he’ll tell Josh later, when he’s still too fucked-out to remember that they kind of fail at verbal communication. Sometimes, Josh thinks they should pass each other notes.

They do totally fail at verbal communication, don’t they? Oh, boys. And, on a related note, possessive&needy!Aidan = LOVE.

Date: 2011-02-20 10:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Bishop/Aidan is canon for me at this point. Josh/Aidan is more something I'd like to see happen, but until either Bishop or Aidan actually says on the show, "I did not have sexual relations with that vampire," it's just fact for me. It was really dark and angsty (the original draft of this was a lot talkier, and included a scene where Aidan told Josh about how Bishop used to hit him, drink from him, and fuck him whether Aidan wanted him to or not, and how his relationship with Josh is a lot healthier, for all its faults, but then I decided 1) who cares about the talking, just get to the porn, 2) they were getting really emo and overly dramatic, which is never a good thing, and 3) it was basically me writing out my personal version of every scene in which Bishop calls Aidan out for living with a werewolf) and then Aidan manned up and left and he still isn't over it because if Bishop could please, just not be so rough, Aidan would probably give Bishop the blood and the sex, he just has to ask, but Bishop wouldn't.

Mostly I blame Mark Pellegrino, who reads every single line like a jilted ex lover. Mhm.


Date: 2011-02-20 10:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Agree. One-hundred percent. On all counts. :D

At the same time, though-- and this is just my personal opinion and me trying to figure out how I think Aidan's brain works-- I think there's a dark part of Aidan that was (and maybe still is) an absolute glutton for punishment at Bishop's hands. I keep thinking about that laugh of his in 1.05 when Bishop's just hitting him again and again and again. Does Aidan want to be broken? I don't know. Sometimes I think so.

Date: 2011-02-20 10:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I think part of Aidan feels like he deserves it for all the murdering and general mayhem he's caused over the years. Like, "Fine, I might murder some people, but my sire is beating the fuck out of me and raping me every night, balances out." Which it doesn't, but I think that's where his mind goes.

The way Bishop stroked his face after beating him up pretty much cemented them as canon in my head. As if I needed it cemented after 1) everything that's happened on the show before that and 2) the way Aidan scrambled back from Bishop with a terrified look on his face after the first punch. That face was pure abused partner and I'm almost 90% sure that the way he reacted when he found out Danny was abusive to Sally and had killed her (with his getting ready to storm off to Danny's and very likely kill him) was because he identified since he basically lived with and was continually abused by the guy who essentially murdered him.

There was also something in the original draft of this about that, I said, it was a choice between talking and porn. I went with porn. :-P

Date: 2011-02-20 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'd actually be interested in seeing the talking too. :)

Date: 2011-02-20 10:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Unfortunately, I deleted it. It was mostly just me being overly self-indulgent and explaining damn near everything. So instead of "Aidan identified with Sally remembering that Danny had killed her," it was more, "You don't see why I need you, Josh? How this is so good for me? Has it ever occurred to you that there was a reason I left Bishop? That he hit me and bit me and drank me and fucked me and never once asked me if I consented to any of it? You couldn't stand knowing Ray for one day after you found out he was the one who turned you. I lived with the man who murdered me for two hundred years. And then there was you, this one bright light I could cling to while I tried to claw my way out of the darkness, and you don't see why you make me so needy."

Like I said. Way too overly-dramatic and emo.

Date: 2011-02-20 11:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
This was a perfect end to this series (which has been so great, and you tied it in perfectly with canon). I love your Aidan, and your Josh, and your Aidan/Josh, and how much Aidan needs Josh, and his "You're not allowed to leave me again," and just *everything* about this.

tl:dr: This series is wonderful, and so are you.

Date: 2011-02-21 12:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you so much!

Date: 2011-02-21 12:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
So sweet. Loved every inch of this. Your series just keeps improving.

Date: 2011-02-21 12:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you!

Date: 2011-02-21 02:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
mmmm, banter and sex-- as perfect bedmates as Josh and Aidan. total awesomsauce!

Date: 2011-02-21 02:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you!

Date: 2011-03-12 01:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
will there be more to this series? i'm really enjoying it!! :)

Date: 2011-03-12 02:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thanks! Unfortunately, this was the final part. But thank you!

Date: 2011-03-31 05:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
This series was just amazing.

Date: 2011-03-31 12:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you so much!

Date: 2011-06-22 09:07 am (UTC)
ext_1026: made by lanning (Default)
From: [identity profile]
Awesome series! You have just wonderful character voices here.

Date: 2011-06-22 12:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you so much!


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